Friday, January 30, 2009

what are the odds

It's official. I am obsessed with poop. Or rather, I am now officially hostage to the colon police.

Either way, I've become "that girl" at the office who discusses the benefits of digestive enzymes and the various properties of juiced parsley. I'm now the odd man out on cake day. I'm everyone's least favorite lunch date and you should see the looks on their faces when I waltz by with a bowl of marinated kale.

On Saturday I caught up with a friend I had not seen in eight years and I dragged the poor bastard to a Vegan raw bar for lunch, all the while extolling the virtues of ginger and coconut water as he nibbled on his "nut meat" with patience and grace... or something akin to grace, if such a thing is possible with poorly wrapped nori and julienned beet. I must have seemed insane.

I'll say this: I was not dull. He won't have to report to mutual friends somewhere down the line that I got hit by the boring bus. I can take comfort in knowing that my life choices so far, while somewhat unorthodox, have at least managed to be interesting.

To tell the truth, this January detox regimen—the juicing, the raw food, the yoga and yes, even the Colonic—has really changed me. I've never felt better.

I have the following ringing endorsements to offer: LYT (for the hose!) and Pure Food and Wine (for the "cheese" plate). Both have contributed to my little renaissance. Although, I warn you, place but a toe in this current and you'll find yourself surrendering whole hog. Next thing you know, you'll be on a soap box too...

The only downside: I've so thoroughly purified my system that those three glasses of wine from last night have been recognized by my cells as the poison they probably are and as a result I feel terrible...

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