Tuesday, January 13, 2009

And probably will be for life

Never have I felt so adrift.

I look at this picture and I ask myself, "What the fuck?" Mostly I wish I lived there: closer to my mother, further from this icy tundra, and able to stretch to my full wingspan in the grocery store without decapitating the elderly. But part of me is convinced that if only I could cut the mustard here, where I am now, I would not need so desperately to escape.

Somewhere along the line I must have gone incredibly, irrevocably wrong.

I hate my job. I'm cold. I'm claustrophobic. I want to change directions, but I'm exhausted. And I know that I'm going to have to make a running leap at something soon, but what...

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