Sunday, April 18, 2010

the truth is in the tupperware

My dear anonymous commentators, I know. Somewhere in there, I know I deserve more than I currently ask for—from men, from the world, perhaps even from myself.

That doesn't mean we choose who ensnares us, which spider webs we trip into, getting a face full of silky threads we spend the next few months wiping out of our hair.

It has been a weekend free from distraction by the opposite sex. Don't we all have those moments, positive or otherwise, when we realize we could be alone forever? When we stand at our sink and rinse our dishes and drink our coffee, and prepare and maintain an existence so solitary it seems endless?

Isn't this what being a grown-up is all about? Running out of dish soap and finding you have already purchased a back-up bottle and stowed it under the sink? Having your best friend for dinner and thinking, "Jeez, I wonder what I can do with this asparagus Fresh Direct told me to buy this week," only to realize you already have all the ingredients for risotto?

Sometimes Spring days are cold. And sometimes moments of victory are grey and lonely.

They are victories all the same.


bard said...


Anonymous said...

Being happy whilst alone is one of those rare pleasures I wish I could bottle ...

Phoenix said...

J. is right - the happiness one can feel while being alone is a peace that few can disturb. Even if it's still thinly pressed into fear that this is going to be the rest of your life - which it isn't. I know people damaged beyond belief who have found people to love and support them and who want to spend the rest of their lives with them. So I think you'll be just fine.

Er...this IS supposed to be a pep talk.